So I was just reading in the paper about how Kate McCann thinks she is being persecuted by the media for not looking maternal enough-and I am thinking,”what the hell is THAT about?” There are several reasons this rather enrages me; the first being that she is being persecuted in the media because she was an irresponsible parent who left her three small children alone, in a hotel room, while she went out and had dinner. All right, most of us parents who do something irresponsible don’t have one of our kids come up missing. But really, I have to question any rational parent who thinks that leaving her kids alone-no matter how many feet she was away from the room, no matter how many times the kids were checked on-is in any way okay. To me, my moments of irresponsibility involve things like having leftover cake for breakfast, or buying a CD when I really should buy one of the kids a new package of socks, something long those lines. But leave my kids alone in a strange hotel room so I could go have dinner with friends? Not even on my radar. Can’t relate. No parent “deserves” to have one of their kids come up missing due to irresponsibility, I will concur. But it also seems like such a stupid, selfish thing to do that there is a part of me that says, “Uh, duh?” Of course, I will admit that I certainly think that she had a hand in her daughter’s mysterious disappearance. We will most likely never know, but here is what MY brain/gut tells me happened: Kate and hubby want to go eat dinner, but don’t have a sitter-being, of course, on a vacation. So they think okay, we will just wait until the kids fall asleep, the restaurant is right here, we will be right here to check on them.” But Madeline doesn’t WANT to go to sleep; Why can’t I come? Why do I have to stay here? Where are you going? How long are you going to be gone? On and on, whining and crying and throwing a fit until Kate says, “Goddammit, shut up!” and whacks her head against the wall. I mean, those of us who are parents know well the feelings of rage that come upon us when it comes to our kids; we are a selfish people in general, and sometimes kids just suck the life right out of you. So I see how abuse and “accidents” happen; not out of intent, but out of anger. I would have a lot more sympathy for little old Kate if she would just be honest and say, “Oh my god, I did this and I was angry and I didn’t mean it!” Not that I think there is any excusing it; I believe in punishment for those kinds of things, absolutely. But I also think, “Where is this woman’s support network that would help if she gets that angry?” Of course, I am just guessing, putting my own spin on what happened; we are really never going to know the truth.
The second part of my fury comes from this: what does having big boobs have to do with looking maternal? Talk about a stereotype! I mean, really; Kate might not look like a mother, but that has a lot more to do with having the money to stay well-dressed and hair done and perfectly manicured than it does with the size of her boobs. I don’t have the same issue, and sugar, big boobs rarely make a person look maternal; mostly they make us afflicted with them either look unkempt and sloppy OR like a stripper, depending on the day. And why this bothers me so much, I am not sure. Maybe because it seems like such a ridiculous thing to say, maybe because it sounds like ego (as in ‘look how great I look, I don’t even look like a mom!’) mixed with anger at those who have the gall to criticize her. Maybe she realizes that public opinion/sympathy might be waning, and instead of actually facing the reality of why that might be happening, she is trying to blame it on the media. All I know is that I have to mark her down as one more person who I never care if I hear about again.