One of my new favorite blogs is note to self… and the ever-lovely, terribly knocked up Jillian tagged me for this meme; she titled hers “More Than You Wanted to Know,” but since I clearly have far more inflated (and, I am sure, far less reason to have one) ego than she does, well, you saw the title. I am an enigma, a mystery, a delusional…’nuff said.
What I was Doing Ten Years Ago: Let’s see. 1998. Ten years ago I was still drinking perhaps more than was good for me, so I would imagine that whatever it was, it had something to do with alcohol. I was also married to Husband Number Two, who was using drugs perhaps more than was good for HIM. We worked on a ranch, and I also worked as a Ward Clerk/CNA for the local hospital, plus had a part-time job tending bar. Hannah and Eli were 5 and 4 respectively, just turning into little people instead of toddlers. Hannah started Kindergarten, but Eli started off his educational career by being too smart for pre-school. That was the year I got pregnant after 13 months of trying-Clomid helped out. Ten years ago I will still naive enough to think that if I loved my husband enough, he would get better, still naive enough to believe that life would work out just because I wanted it to, as if sheer will were enough.
Five Snacks I enjoy:
2. BBQ Corn Nuts
3. Peanut M & M’s
4. Mint Three Musketeers
5. Trader Joe’s Triple Ginger Gingersnaps
Five Things on My To Do List Today:
1.Take a shower.
2.Change out of my pajamas.
3.Go buy smokes.
Come on, on a Saturday of a three day weekend? Please!
Five Things I Would Do If I Were a Billionaire:
1.Buy April a house.
2.Buy myself a house.
3.Set up my Jones-McCaffery Foundation for Single Mothers, which would provide help for, you got it, single moms. There would be a lengthy application process, because even though I would WANT to, I wouldn’t be able to help every single one, and I would also have to weed out the freaks. And I would pick maybe ten per year, but each “award” would be different based on that particular individual’s needs.
4.Oh, God, luxury: Buy a freezer and totally fill it with food. TOTALLY. And as part of that, I would throw away-not even donate but flat CHUCK-every single package of Top Ramen and Macaroni and Cheese. Never again.
5.And then I would go buy this picture from Anna over at Borderline Bonkers, or beg her to paint a similar one.
Five Jobs I Have Had:
2. Calf Feeder at a dairy
4. Greens keeper at a golf course
5. Insurance Agent (current).
Five of My Bad Habits:
1. I take everything personally; in a bad mood? Surely must be my fault. Don’t comment on my new shirt? It must be ugly. Don’t call me when you say you are going to? You are a bitch. It’s all about me, in a bad way. 2.Like Jillian, I also bite my nails compulsively. To the quick. I don’t bite the skin, though, just the nails, to the quick.
3. I have recently discovered that I can be very vindictive. Threaten or hurt my kids? You are so busted. I don’t like this new discovery about myself, either.
4.I am capable of hurting people I love with my words. I have never physically abused my kids, but I have yelled to the point of a sore throat. I have also used my tongue as the sharpest weapon imaginable, and almost instantly regret it when I lose control.
5.I throw all my mail on the kitchen table, opened or not, and then get mad because the table is always covered up with papers and shit.
Five places I have lived:
2. Colorado Springs, Colorado
3.Columbia, South Carolina
I am supposed to list five people I would like to get to know better, but I can’t stand the pressure, really. So if you want to play along, please do; I would be honored!