But I Can Dream…Can't I?

When I was home for lunch, the FedEx guy stopped at our house with the backpacks that C. ordered for the kids from L.L. Bean; they have been awaiting their arrival all last week, even though it was impossible for them to have arrived before today. They are wonderful, beautiful backpacks; Sam’s is not only monogrammed but also has wheels that light up when rolled, and he was also the recipient of a really neat clip-on light set. Hannah and Eli both opted for plaid, one in pink and the other in brown, and they got a smaller knapsack to go along with. Like I said, they are beautiful, another extremely generous gift from C. Sam has been waiting anxiously to send his thank-you note (yes, I still insist that thank yous be not only spoken but written as well), and finished it for me to send off today. He does not normally warm up so immediately to people-he is a great performer and fakes it well, but few people earn his genuine love. C. and D. have clearly passed the test, as his card ends with, “I think you are the coolest people ever.” It is so much fun to see my kids fall in love with people I love so much-we have been so blessed in that arena that I truly do not have the words to fully convey that. I just know that there are a lot of people who love my kids as much as they love me, and wherever they go, the kids have a safety net; that is a very, very powerful thing.

The arrival of the backpacks is just another reminder that school is to begin in two weeks. I can register both Hannah and Eli online (with hope, there will not need to be any schedule changes!), and this will be taken care of this week, and I think I register Sam on Thursday. Both H. and E. are in high school this year, and it is both exciting and scary for me to realize how quickly they are growing up. Physically, they have both towered over me for several years; I found out last night that Hannah is also almost as strong as me, and I know Eli could seriously kick my ass were he wont to do (let’s hope he never reads my blog, or any shred of fear my threats might instill will be long gone). Even Sam, who still only hits 54 pounds after a full meal and with ALL his clothes on, is also very much taller this year than last. Such a damn cliche, but the time goes by too fast, and they grow so much, that the mind boggles.

I have to go to Boise to pick Eli up next Saturday; we dropped him off in Pendleton on our way home from vacation last weekend, and his dad is flying him back in to Boise. I think I am going to take the other three kids with me and get some school shopping done there. The mall there is really nice, and has a few stores the kids really like that we don’t have in the town we normally have to go to. Also, even though we have had our vacation and all, it will be the last time we really get to just hang put and be together having fun before school starts. I mean, we are almost always TOGETHER-but when school starts, there are sports and homework and tutoring and all of the other things that make up the schedule-which leaves a lot less time to just be a family and remember that we do kind of like one another.

Ugh, though. The fact that both the older kids are going to be in high school is financially frightening. I shudder to think of what their fees are going to be, and since ALL of them have grown up so much, we are looking at everything new-from socks and undies on up. We did get a few things for the vacation that also doubled as Back-to-School clothes, so that helps. Still-jeans for all, new shoes for all, etc…sigh, I think that for me, one of the hardest parts of being a single parent is still the lack of money; no child support from either ex, and it gets really hard sometimes to make ends meet-especially when things like SCHOOL come up. Also, H. and E. will both be in Driver’s Ed. during the school year, though at different times, and that-well. That creates a LOT of burdens, financially and otherwise!

But I am not going to stress about it too much today. There isn’t anything I can do about it anyway, and we will get what we need, even if it is one outfit at a time for each. That is one thing I have learned, that we don’t HAVE to buy the whole wardrobe right now, and the kids are usually pretty good about a new pair of jeans and a couple shirts to start, along with their shoes and socks and stuff. I know they want more, I know they want me to shop at the cool places, and I would like that as well-but we also know THAT can’t be changed, so we deal.

I will complain here for just a minute, though. Yeah, I know we just got back from vacation; I know I also had four no-kid days back in April. But would you all think I am terribly selfish for wanting one ALONE night before school starts? I would love to head to a hotel ALONE and have total solitude, from lunch to dinner to bedtime to coffee and a book in the morning all by myself. Ah…I can dream, right?

P.S. Thanks for the gifts, to those who gave them to me; I will be posting about them tomorrow!

11 thoughts on “But I Can Dream…Can't I?

  1. Wow, that’s awesome that your friends bought them backpacks! Those LLBean backpacks are so cool. But expensive! I’m already bummed that I have to buy Andy a snow outfit this year because he will be in preschool. Worst of all, he has to be able to put it on and take it off himself. Yeah. I don’t have high hopes for that one. It will be practice, practice, practice.I guess I should be practicing making him pull up his own undies and pants after using the potty, too……

  2. Ugh I know all about those dreaded School fees. jacob is just going to Middle School and it cost me $145 smackers. As far as School clothes and shoes. They are just going to have to wait cause I just spent over another hundred bucks for School supplies. Grant it I am not a single parent. Richard is on diability but it doesn’t go very far. Don’t stress to much it all work out one way or another. And as far as that peaceful night in the hotel. I want one too. Can I go? please.

  3. Well, If a hotel isn’t an option…what if you have the kids arrange for sleep overs at their friends’ house…then you can have your house all to yourself for a day. Have you ever tried shopping in a consignment or salvation army store. I know sometimes people think negatively about those places…but I shop there all the time. I find very nice designer brand clothes for a fraction of the cost. And it’s “new” (to them) so they don’t care.

  4. The LL Bean backpacks really are the best! We didn’t go w/ the monogramming, but the girls love theirs, too. yeah, I hear you. I just got 4 days off, and another on the way, but I still want to whine because I had to work sill!

  5. Have I told you that you are the coolest mom? Your kids are so lucky to have you.I loved getting new school supplies. I wore uniforms to school but loved new pencils, paper, notebooks, etc. I can’t even begin to imagine the cost for three kids to go to school. Doesn’t the school have some sort of program for parents that just need a little help?

  6. Wow–backpacks w/ light-up wheels! My kids would go crazy for those!Thanks for entering my giveaway–wishing you lots of luck!I hope I prove to be blogroll-worthy (love that phrase!)–but, if not, I understand! 🙂

  7. Ugh! I feel yah! My oldest is hitting 8th grade this year which starts off with a 3 day camping trip which costs 50! Plus sleeping bag, sun and bug screen etc. $40 for athletic fees, her club fee – wow, I haven’t been paid yet and it’s already gone. Fortunately, down in Albuquerque, we have this incredible thrift store that carries clothes in almost new condition and for really low costs. The littles are still in uniform and will be till 7th grade, but the older brat sure does cost a lot to keep clothed!

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