The Fat Cop is in Trouble!

Before you read any further, please know that it was a false alarm. We think.

We have replaced both dogs that were stolen, with the dog about which I blogged yesterday (though I found out two rather annoying traits about Harley-she has no compunction about walking up to Owen and very delicately taking whatever type of food he might be holding in his hand, AND this morning Owen pooed on the floor we are beginning potty training thankyouverymuch and before I could get the cleaner she had cleaned it up for me. With her tongue) and the 6-ish month old mutt that Eli procured. My baby is an inside dog, mostly, and his little girl is an outside dog, mostly. Sweet little thing, quiet, already fetches, good dog. So last night at about 11:30, she started barking. It started out sporadically, and I thought, “Oh, great, we have a barker!” but then increased in both volume and urgency until it made me nervous; keep in mind that until then I had not heard a single peep out of her. Not even a whine. So by that time my baby was up and pacing and whining, Hannah was up, and we were creeping around our house with our bats and pepper spray like crazy-ass Ninjas. Then we both saw a flash of light that looked like a flashlight, so I said to hell with it and called the cops. They were already in the area so even while I was still on the phone with dispatch, the first car arrived, and within minutes two more had gotten there.

Turns out it was my neighbor coming home from work late. It was his dome light that Hannah and I both saw, and the poor man was just getting out of his car when the cop came and spotlighted him and ran his plates and stuff (that’ll teach him to not trade in his car on something different, as we all knew the old car!). They very thoroughly checked everything out, and did not at all make me feel like an idiot. Also, one of the guys responding actually knew what was going on, so I didn’t have to go through the whole story again. The other one with him did not-he has been on vacation and was told a little bit about it as they were responding to the call, but did not know any more than the basics. So we were talking and I told him that I was really reluctant to call and report anything after the last contact I had with the police when I got the threatening call, and BOTH their ears perked right up. “WHAT threatening call?” they both said, so I told them about the verbal threat AND the hang-up, and how the policeman who came to “take my report” was such an ass, and on and on. The one guy listened very closely, asked me when he came to the office and what he looked like and which car he drives, etc…(I hope it doesn’t count against me that I said ,”Well, he isn’t as old as I am but isn’t as young as you guys, he is tall and fat and looks stupid..”) And then the one said, “Well, I am the shift supervisor and this WILL be addressed. He never even made a report on this and since this is an ongoing investigation, EVERYTHING needs to be put on a report.” He also ‘fessed up and said that the reason he didn’t know anything about the situation was because he got back from vacation and didn’t read the back reports like they are supposed to-he gets major brownie points for honesty and accepting responsibility.

Sorry-I digress. Turns out that talking to the phone company is NOT, in fact, my responsibility (even though I did find out yesterday that there is a way to do it, for a fee, and the trace is forwarded to law enforcement), that Fat Fuck should have gone right to the phone company and apprised them of the sitch, as well as given me paperwork to fill out that would authorize my phone records to be turned over to the police. That’s it. No song and dance, no major courtroom drama (and who, I might ask, is the one who watches too much TV? Not me, that is for damn sure!) debating the legality of it, just-paperwork. Young Cop said that even if the phone company policy requires a subpoena, it is just more paperwork. They are going to be bringing by some forms for me to fill out today, and will beef up patrols again in the ‘hood over the weekend just in case it WAS CSG. Both assured me, though, that our area is still being patrolled more regularly than in the past, they are just going to up it a little more.

And hey guys, I might talk all tough on the blog, and I know I was all like, “I am not going to call the cops for anything anymore because they don’t do anything,” and I think it was Mr. Lady who told me to suck it up or something to that effect, and I listened. Because you are all right, it is foolish and stupid of me to take one bad experience with one ignorant policeman and let it make me refuse to call. It does me nor my kids any good to take the old-West attitude that I can do it myself. I can’t; I am tough and mean and could maybe, just maybe kick some ass if necessary, but in this case? I cannot defend my entire family on my own, and I am no longer going to feel too embarrassed or foolish or hysterical to call the police if I need to. With any luck, I won’t need to again.


11 thoughts on “The Fat Cop is in Trouble!

  1. Neh-neh-neh-neh-neh-nehhhhh! 😛 Haha. I’m glad you had the chance to tell the other officers what had happened. Sorry about the neighbor, though. And the poo. Yuck….

  2. Ok this post should come with some sort of warning.I just back from lunch and pull up your blog thinking oh my nemesis has written something witty. And what do I find… poo eaten by the dog that a very cute toddler has just shot out his tail end. Oh god I got to go throw up.

  3. So, in summary, Your new shit eating dog =) will bark to alert you of trespassers. That’s a huge relief. Dude…I’d put up with the bad breath. Just don’t let him lick you……I just threw up a little in my mouth….

  4. You’re lucky that your dog has attached herself to you so quickly and is already willing to defend you. That rocks.But yeah. No licking. Ewwww.

  5. Woooo Hooo I am glad the police took you seriously. I’m glad the dog barked to warn you. Good doggie… My neighbors hate when my dogs bark outside, tough luck. But the whole thing about the dogs and poo…. yeah, not so much.

  6. It must be such a relief that the police are finally listening. I’m sure you could–but don’t try to “take anyone down”by yourself! Hopefully the creep has moved on and won’t bother you anymore. And ew about the dog–unfortunately, my dog has done this too. Dogs are so gross!

  7. I’ve started holding my breath a little when I read your posts. Now I have to laugh and go “eeewww” as well . . .

  8. Crazy ass ninjas! ROFL! I love it!Never be to paranoid to call the cops. Never! They might have assholes who just joined the force to carry a gun and a nightstick, but I worked with those guys for several years when I was an EMT and I have the utmost respect for them. Yeah, they swagger and try to look tough, but for the most part, they joined so they could help society. You got a fluke when you got mr asshole, and thank god the supervisor was the one that came in this time. At the very least, he can make sure you aren’t treated like that again!

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