I have to laugh at something: I have noticed that I have a couple of people who read my blog who are not only very conservative Christians but are ALSO completely Anti-Obama (and I am not talking about YOU, Steph, I love you!); while I appreciate the readers and think it is cool that they obviously find something about my blog compelling enough to keep reading, it just makes me laugh. So if this sounds like you, I am dying to know: are you simply waiting for my blog to burst into flames, do I need to be glad I am moving so you won’t be able to bomb my house, or are you simply here because you find me interesting? Do tell!
I had a very unexpected invite over the weekend; Steve wanted to Go Away With Me! We went to a Bed and Breakfast Inn by Lava Hot Springs. Stopped and ate at Red Lobster on the way, then checked in to the Moose Hollow Bed and Breakfast before heading to the hot pools at Lava. First things first here: you all know that Steve has been a dick, and while you might not know all the details, you know by now that he is often “confused.” In all these years together, be it “official” or not, he does this. he says or does something really, really mean, and instead of saying that he is wrong or that he said something in the heat of the moment, instead of God Forbid APOLOGIZING, he does something unexpectedly and out of the blue nice and thoughtful and loving. He doesn’t apologize, he never will, but this is his way of doing so. I talked to a friend of mine about this and her suggestion was next time something like this happens-which it inevitably will-I could try to help him verbalize the meaning behind it, but at the same time accept this about him. That makes sense to me, and might help next time something similar occurs. I could bore you all to tears with the different little things that I never, EVER write about, but I won’t do that. What I will say is that while we all know what he **should** do, that shouldn’t be taken into account. I “should” do a lot of things that I don’t, nor do I plan on EVER doing. So. In the spirit of the invitation, I went, and we had a lovely time. The B&B was-odd, to say the least, and I don’t know that I would ever stay there again, but the rest was lovely. A note to anyone who might want to stay here: make the coffee in your room, don’t drink it in the dining room, unless you like coffee the color of tea. If you do not like to eat right first thing upon awakening, get up early-because they will NOT let you leave without eating. And if you want to get “busy,” do NOT reserve the Sunrise Room; the headboard bangs against the wall. LOUDLY.
Also on Sunday, we stopped at Costco and picked up some things (diapers and coffee, as you all know, and mundane stuff like laundry soap and toilet paper. Not very exciting, but I felt better getting home and mentally calculating how much I saved in the long term by buying there. Really, it is considerable; I figured in one month’s time, I will have saved just over $70.00. Not bad at all.
I did splurge by stopping at Starbucks and indulging in a triple shot grande white chocolate mocha, EXTRA HOT, along with a pumpkin scone. Heaven. I don’t care who you are, Starbucks coffee IS better. We then went to Lowe’s, where I found two rugs-one for the kitchen (with, of all things, coffee varieties on it in varying shades of brown. Gorgeous!) and one for the little boys’ room-it looks like a race track. It was very, very exciting to pick out these two brand new things for the house, things I LOVE.
Today, my friend Janet came by at lunch and we went to the local thrift store, where we found these things: a rocking recliner in beige, a mattress and box spring set (with frame) for ME, a brand-new set of bunk beds for the little boys (one of the older kids will have the set we have, which has a full bed on the bottom), and the loveliest old farm table for the kitchen. It has black legs and a brown top, all wooden, and I love it. It caught my eye immediately, and I thought “oh, it matches the rug perfectly!” When we were putting all the “sold” tags on them, Janet wrote out the check and handed me the receipt, saying, “Happy new house!” I just, predictably, cried with how blessed I truly am.
Not everything is well and good here, though. I got a call from the school informing me that Hannah is failing her classes. ALL.OF.THEM. We are talking FAILING. Zeros in more than one. I have a meeting at the school at 7:15 in the morning, because they want to transfer her to the local Alternative School, which just doesn’t seem like a reasonable solution to me. Why in God’s name, unless she is a discipline problem (not), would they want to throw her amongst a group of kids that I try desperately to keep her away from? Anyway, I know that part of the problem this year has had to do with the whole CSG incident and then the CF incident; it still isn’t an excuse for Hannah to simply fuck of school, and I am holding her responsible for silly little things like not turning in HOMEwork, but with hope the school is willing to be a bit more lenient. I will let you all know what happens tomorrow; I have a couple of things to propose, to with hope they will be more willing to explore other options as opposed to just throwing her out.
All in all, I feel really good today. I think-I don’t know if I would call it “grace,” but something is happening and I just feel very calm. Not that things don’t still suck in some respects-we still have problems and worries and fears, of course (don’t we all?) but today I feel strong enough to face them and deal with them by simply taking the next step. I am wearing a necklace* that says “Courage” and a bracelet* that says “Strength,” and maybe that is making the difference.
*Both of these items were given to me for Christmas by Mr. Lady, but she bought them from Nicole Lorentz; go check out her Etsy shop, you will be amazed at the talent this woman has.