I have to say this was one of the best weekends we have had in a long time, and we have had some good ones. Friday night Steve and I went to the AA Speaker meeting, which was an exceptionally good one. I was glad to see my friend P. there, the mother of the man who died last week; I am amazed at her courage and strength, and am glad to know that no matter how difficult life is at any given moment, she knows where she needs to be so as not to drink again. I talked with her very briefly, but she is still so raw and freshly grieving that we didn’t TALK; she seems to be holding herself together with everything she has, and all I could really do was hug her. I love AA; I look around the room and see people that I love, who love me, and it is really powerful for me to go there and know that no matter what, I don’t have to drink again. Powerful and humbling at the very same time.
Saturday was spent-what DID I do Saturday? Well, I had borrowed $100 from Steve so as to make it through until payday, so I went to buy some groceries (which was of course lovely; I had a better attitude and FELT better as soon as I knew that there was enough in the house to last until I get paid), and then we spent quite a bit of time outside playing. The house next door to the one right next to us has been bought and the new owners are in the process of gutting it, so there was lots of activity. I don’t know what the deal with the other folks was, whether they owned or rented, but they left EVERYTHING in there, including two cats. Which makes me angry indeed.
Steve and I went out on Saturday night, and it was so, so nice. We went to the next town over specifically to go to Costco, which we found out closes at 6:00. On a Saturday night-WTF is up with that? So we didn’t get to go there, but instead went to lots of other places. Barnes and Noble, Tuesday Mornings, the Asian Market we love that has moved and expanded, downtown to find the cooking store we have heard so much about (and I cannot WAIT to go back there; it is my idea of heaven, I tell you). It was really relaxing and a lot of fun to just browse around places. We then went into Karnation, a lingerie and adult store, which was, um, interesting and a little embarrassing, even for me, but also fun. Last, we went to eat at a place called Sushi Ya, which obviously was a Sushi joint. I was my first experience with sushi, and man, I am hooked. Totally hooked; what an interesting and fun combination of flavors and textures! And this, from a woman who won’t eat meatloaf! I will definitely go back, and be more adventurous the next time. It was an excellent night simply because there was no underlying tension, the uncertainty and confusion about our relationship not in the forefront like is has been. The trip to Barnes and Noble was reminiscent of our first date, as is was the first place we went to that night over three years ago; we were both wandering around the store with our coffees, not together but knowing that the other was around somewhere, and it was a comforting feeling.
Yesterday was miserable, weatherwise, with terrible wind and icy cold pellets of snow flurrying around sporadically, so we spent the entire day in the house. We cleaned some, and read a LOT, and the kids all four were sweet and happy to just be together. A nice change from the days when the slightest wrong look or comment can cause World War Three! We all napped in the afternoon, had a simple dinner, and topped the evening off with popcorn and a movie. These are the times that make me fall into bed feeling oh-so-grateful and blessed.
This morning, I had the pleasure of writing out a check to Amber for the money that all of you so generously donated to her. The total was $427.00, and I want to thank you all. I will say that I still owe her $127.00, only having written the check for $300.00; I made the mistake of having the money deposited into my new checking account instead of my existing savings account, so there was a delay in that Paypal had to verify the account and then deposit the money. Because I am paranoid about money and checking accounts in general, I told her that I would have to give her the rest in a few days just to make sure everything is cool. Anyway, I am hoping (hint hint) that Amber will be willing to write a guest post this week telling you all about what happened and what has transpired, at which point I will list all of the people who so generously gave of themselves to help this family. Thank you, to all of you, for your willingness to help a stranger.
Now, I am simply here at work, waiting for a phone call from the courthouse to let me know what happened this morning. It would be very easy for me to assume that I know what transpired, but I am working really hard to keep from doing that, because I really DON’T know, and can’t even venture a guess. I am on pins and needles, but know that I can’ call their office until after lunch anyway because court is still in session, and I might not even hear anything until tomorrow. The waiting is a killer, you know?
Monday Afternoon Update: Did I get a call from the prosecuting attorney? No. Did I have to call them? Yes. Did they have any answers? No. What I was told when I talked to the Prosecutor on Thursday that I would know BEFORE court this morning what the plan was, and that I DID NOT need to go to the hearing this morning because I would already know what to expect. So when I called to find out I was told, “Well, I am sure that what he MEANT was that you would hear from him before the trial.” Yes; I am sure. Since my daughter and I are the two witnesses and the trial is in less than ten days now, I sould surely HOPE I would hear from him prior to that. More and more I feel discouraged and upest by this whole thing; so far I have been dicked around, lied to, had information withheld, and been accused of being too emotional; doesn’t bode very well for the outcome of this fucking thing, does it? And yes, I am angry, just in case any of you were wondering, and yes, it is also “helpful” to be angry.