The Hits Keep Coming

I am sorry, there will be no Friday Fragments from me today. However, go on ahead and check it out at Half Past Kissin time. It is fun to read all the little snippets of things people put down.

The thing is, I am sick today. Sick at heart, sick of drama and problems and stress and tension. Just-sick. Last night, in the midst of an already tense evening, I got served with more papers. Yeah-another fucking creditor coming after me for a bill of my ex-husband’s, one that was specified in that silly little Decree of Divorce that really doesn’t mean anything as being HIS. This one isn’t quite as high as the other one; only just about $1300 as opposed to $7000. Still and all, I don’t HAVE $1300. Just like I didn’t HAVE the $7000 that I am still paying off to the tune of 25% of my paycheck. It looks like there will be another garnishment in place soon, which means-get THIS-50% of my paycheck will be gone every month. Yes, you heard that right, 50%. Now, I know a lot of you readers are new, but believe me, I have already been down this road and 1.No, there is nothing I can do about it. Creditors do not have to adhere to the terms of a divorce decree. 2. No, I can’t declare bankruptcy because my debt-to-income ratio isn’t high enough (tried that already). 3. No, I can’t find him and make him pay it because I don’t know where he is and even if I gave him the papers and said, “Here,” it still would not get paid. 4. No, I can’t borrow the money from someone to pay it off. Have I covered everything? And I am not being snarky, because I know well that people are simply trying to offer suggestions-and if I hadn’t already tried all of them and then some, I would be SO open to them. I just know that there isn’t really anything I can do.

I did see that one of the local stores is hiring for part-time seasonal work in the greenhouse. I am going over there tomorrow to apply, in the hopes that they will hire someone who can only work evenings and weekends. No, it isn’t ideal, no, I don’t want Hannah to have the additional responsibility of raising the boys because I am gone all the time. Yes, it will cause MORE problems in the long run because it will raise my rent through Idaho Housing, my daycare costs will increase (both of those payments are calculated based on a sliding scale). No, I can’t apply for any kind of public assistance because they only go by your income, not your expenses, so I don’t qualify. I am out of options. Last year when I was having similar problems, someone who reads me offered me a potential job working from home, but it requires a computer and Internet, neither of which I have at home (I haven’t been ignoring or blowing you off, Jess, I just didn’t want to waste either of us’ time by sending in my resume for a job that I knew I couldn’t actually DO). The thing is, even though it IS going to cause more long-term problems, I just can’t NOT do it. We are just barely making it already, skimping on groceries and already juggling the monthly payments; I can’t NOT have another income coming in.

As if that were not bad enough, I made the mistake of sitting on the floor and sobbing last night after I got served the papers, which brought all four kids running to my side. After telling them what had happened, Sam lost it, and I had to deal with the same kind of fallout that I was experiencing with Hannah the night before. I spent a lot of time rubbing his back while he cried and telling him that I know he misses his dad and I know he loves him and it is the drugs that make him do the things he does…while inwardly I was seething. At the circumstances, at his dad, and at myself for not keeping a tight enough rein on myself to keep it from the kids. Heh. People wonder why we single moms are bitter. Anyway, I got him all calmed down and sung to sleep, and then poor Hannah freaked out about our meeting with the prosecutor this afternoon and the upcoming trial. I ended up giving her a sleeping pill at midnight last night and putting her to bed in my bed.

Last, but not least, this morning there was an article in the paper about the upcoming trial. This opens a can of worms that I didn’t want open, and in fact have tried to keep closed so far as is possible. Since Hannah is a minor, her name is and will continue to be withheld, but now that HIS name is in the paper, people from AA will come just because it is him, and because they haven’t known anything about it before and want to find out who the victim is. Remember, we live in a small area; this is right along the lines of a brand-new hit movie being released, only free and they have to bring their own popcorn. I have a sinking feeling that it is going to turn into something of a circus, and I didn’t want that for Hannah. Fuck, I didn’t want it for ANY of us.

I am not, in fact, sick, I guess. What I am is defeated.

***Adding a little to this post, the calls have already started to come in to Jacquie about the article in the paper. See, when I moved I took my numbers off the AA call list, so people can’t call me, but know that Jacquie is my best friend so are calling HER for information about it. This is just fucking lovely. I NEED an AA meeting, but now that this is OUT I really am not comfortable going ; I just can’t deal with the inevitable grilling. Especailly because I knwo that 85% of the people who express concern really don’t give a shit, they are just being nosy. ALSO, and this strikes me as hilarious, my boss is on jury duty and he got picked so sit in the pool for this particular trial. Of course they aren’t going to allow him to serve on the jury, but he has to report to the courthouse at 8:00 on Wednesday morning.***

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24 thoughts on “The Hits Keep Coming

  1. I think you are also sickened, which is completely understandable.I have no answers to any of the many deep cuts you have suffered. I can just say to try and only deal with one small thing at a time. That it’s okay to cry. That love is being sent your way.

  2. hugs, sorry that it was rough for you last night. I can totally see that being circus for your family and I wouldn’t want that on anyone with what has been going on. Hugs,

  3. I am not even gonna be so stupid as to pretend to have advice to offer when I imagine what you most need is someone to say they hear you and to just let you vent. I am listening. I am sorry. I think I gave you my number. Call if you want. Anytime. I put a blurb on my blog today. I hope more come by and offer you support. I wish there was something I could do or say that would help. I really do.

  4. I am speechless. And spluttering. How fucking dare he put more of a burden on you by way of more frekking creditors.grrrrrr……..I’m gonna send another butt-kicking gorilla just as soon as I can round one up.

  5. My God. Every time it seems like things can’t get worse, they do. I am so, so sorry for all you are dealing with. I really am. I hate not being able to help. People totally suck. What is the fascination with others’ misfortune?I am going to write a letter to my reps and to the President about the creditor situation. It probably won’t do any good, but they deserve the extra paperwork for not paying attention to the little people. Although, actually, Obama might be the one person who really WOULD give a rat’s ass – IF he ever got to read it.

  6. Hi Kori, I’m here from Won’s blog and I’ve seen your comments here and there.I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I deal with a lot of crap from my kids’ fathers but nothing like what you are going through – at least not yet. I know what it’s like to feel defeated but hang in there.So many of us single mom bloggers are here for you if and when you need it.

  7. Well fuck it anyway.Hunt him down, sever his genitals, and hand them to the court clerk who served you. That the kind of advice you were expecting?

  8. I’m so sorry. I’ve just happened on your blog, and will keep tabs now that I’ve found you.{{{{big hugs}}}}}

  9. A communal F U to all the fucktards out there, and a major big hug to all the people who deserve it. MOSTLY YOU AND YOUR FAMILY KORI! I’m thinkin about you.

  10. What a bummer – I’m so sorry! The creditor thing is terrible timing; not that it would be good any time. And I know how hard it is to keep your feelings from your kids – it just isn’t always possible.Keep pressing on – it sounds as if you already are…That jury duty thing is really bizarre…

  11. Oh, Geez, Kori. And the hits just keep on coming, huh?Bless your heart. It will be so good when this whole thing is over. I am so sorry you are going through this! I will pray especially hard for you and your family.

  12. Oh Honey…I’m so, so sorry for this, it does not seem fair that the creditors can chase you for his debt once you are divorced, I’m just gobsmacked that it can happen like that.Can I suggest that it may be time to put that button up on your blog again so we can help out with some cash..?? Please consider it, I would like to help and I know you have other friends out there in the Blogosphere. Consider it a donation to help out your children…I don’t want to see you have to go out and work more hours, they need their Mama close by and (relatively) sane.Consider it Sweetheart, please give it some thought. Perhaps there is someone who can do it for you on their blog

  13. There’s something very wrong with a law that punishes you for a debit your ex is responsible for. That needs to change. I am so sorry. I know that is not going to help you out of your situation, I only wish I knew how to help you.

  14. I’m so sorry. I’m just sitting here with tears in my eyes thinking about how you don’t deserve this and how I wish so much there was anything I could do to help you, but we’re struggling financially and don’t have any resources other than empathy really. I guess that all I can really offer is my thoughts and prayers for you and Hannah and all the kids through these times.No mother as wonderful as you should have to work two jobs when she loves her kids so much and wants to take care of them. No daughter should go through what Hannah is with the trial. I just wish that I could take your whole family and sweep you away to somewhere you could be happy and together without all these worries.

  15. I’m so sorry honey. I’ll ask the bankruptcy judge I know really well if there’s anything else you can try. A million hugs for all of you.

  16. This just makes me sad. It makes me sad that you are going through this. I really wanted to sit down on the floor and cry when I read this. But I’m also angry. Very angry, at your ex-husband, at the courts, at the freakin’ creditors. I wish I could help in some way.

  17. Kori – I am so sorry you are having to deal with your ex-husband’s mess on top of this other mess. Just know I am praying for you and hoping for a great outcome on the case. I wish people wouldn’t be so nosy about it though. These nosy people need to think about what would they be feeling if it was their child who was involved in this. Would they want everyone coming to gawk at the trial? We are behind you 100%.

  18. I have no advice to offer either. Just wanted you to know that I’m sending good thoughts your way for what they’re worth…

  19. Jeez-When it rains, it pours! I’m going to bed now, and you’re going to be first in line for my prayers. Hope that helps. Sleep well, my friend.

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