April gave me this award thingy a few posts back, and even though I have already “done” this one, I liked it so well that I thought I would do it again. I mean, who wouldn’t want the chance to list 10 honest things about themselves, right? So the deal is I write my ten things, and tag some other number of people. The ten things, sure; THAT I can do. As for the tagging? Take it if you want it; there are days when fodder is hard to come by, and this does tend to generate fodder.
1. I have been deleting 90% of the posts in my reader lately because they all talk about BlogHer. I am so glad that people get to go, I think it would be amazing and a wonderful opportunity to get the hell away from the kids meet some really kick-ass people and to experience in real life the connection that so many of us feel online…but really, if you aren’t going, it isn’t all that interesting to read about what you are wearing and how much booze you plan to consume and where you are staying. THERE. I said it. That said, ladies, go and have fun; go let your hair down and have the best time ever, and I will be happy to read about it when you get home.
2. It made my heart hurt when we were sitting up at the top on the mountainside on Friday, looking down at all this land that has been taken over by people. Who, exactly, got to decide, “I OWN this!” and then parceled it off to the highest bidder?
3. I have a daughter who is lost inside, unable AND unwilling to find her way. She doesn’t want help, she refuses to take the considerable help that is being made available, and we are running out of options. She failed one of her summer school classes and may have no choice but to go to the alternative high school next year. I try to talk to her and guide her and that doesn’t work. Therapy doesn’t seem to be working. I yell at her and be firm with her and THAT doesn’t work. I feel helpless and powerless to stop the downward spiral she is on. And it makes me feel like an absolute and utter failure as a parent.
4. I have had some run-ins with one particular blogger, based on her intense dislike of me and everything I stand for. Still, I have been reading her blog anyway, because I am concerned and care deeply about her well-being. So a couple of weeks ago I went in to her blog and she had cleverly redirected my IP address to some fairly nasty site called FuckOff.com. And I should have been offended and, frankly, a little bit creeped out, but mostly I thought it was funny. And then I was thinking that if she has the knowledge to enable her to do something like this, surely she should be able to find a fucking job.
5. In case #4 didn’t tip you off, I can be just as petty and passive aggressive as the next person. I have to work really, really hard to overcome that particular character defect. And sometimes I just stop trying because there are only so many times you can bend over and get fucked up the ass by a “friend” before they aren’t a friend anymore.
6. The lovely yellow lab we got last summer, Harley, is not doing so well. She has been old and arthritic since we got her, and I knew going in that she wasn’t going to be around forever, but she is dwindling. Her right knee joint is so swollen right now that she can’t even get up and down the stairs to go potty without help, and she has a rear elbow that flares up as well. It makes me so sad to see her, and I wonder if it might be time to start **thinking** about putting her down. She doesn’t seem to be in much pain, still remains as slavishly devoted as ever, adores me unequivocably, but still: am I being fair to her because I am selfish? Because I adore her equally? This is a hard one for me, because as cold and heartless as I can be about some things, well, this one hurts.
7. I think we as a nation take the whole “health” thing a bit too far. When I was in the grocery store the other night, I saw some frozen vegetables labeled, “Immunity Blend” and all I could think was, “Are you fucking KIDDING me?” Please. Eat right, take a vitamin, stop wasting your money on shit like this.
8. I already have planned out the songs I want at my funeral, and how I want to be, um, taken care of when I kick the bucket. No embalming, do NOT put me in a really nice dress and slap makeup on me-I am going to be roasted anyway, so grab jeans and a sweatshirt and some 100% cotton socks and I will die happy. Well-if I weren’t already dead. I can’t decide if this makes me morbid or practical.
9. If I could get away with it, I would simply buzz my hair. I did finally get it cut, you know, but I still hate it. I am LAZY and don’t want to take the extra time in the mornings to DO my hair, and I also don’t really see the point; it’s just hair.
10. Every morning I read the obituaries and the court news in the newspaper. It is a really good way to keep tabs on some of my customers. Plus I keep thinking I will find out the location of my ex-husband in one or the other. He nor his wife have ever called back; imagine that.
So. This actually ended up being more like a Fragments post. I may have exhausted all of my deep dark secrets on here. Or maybe I should open it up to have you all ask me stuff you might want to know. But: take the award if you want it, and have fun with it!