Okay. Breathing now, the statement finished. A rough draft anyway, and I will go home tonight and re-read, fix here and there, but for all intents and purposes, done. I feel both relieved and ill, euphoric and depressed, raging and terribly, terribly sad. Still, once I hit the send button, it will be out of my hands.
It is out of my hands anyway; I know that. And of everything, this is maybe the hardest; from day one, this has been out of my hands. I am the mom! I have always been able to protect and comfort my kids, have always been able to fix the things that were broken! Yes-except for those times I can’t.
I wanted to tell you all thank you. That I love you, that I love those who keep coming back. You move me to tears almost every day, from the things you say on your own blogs to the things you say here, and even more for the things you don’t say.
I have changed the password for all my protected posts; I will email those of you who were privy to it prior to today, and for those who haven’t been, you know what to do. There are reasons for this, but mainly because the new one reflects more accurately my life and those words I need to protect. If you know you have the PW and I didn’t get you an email out, let me know, please. I had a list, and then I lost it, and so I tried to remember and…well. I might have missed a few of you.
Still breathing….and thank you.