And We Wait

When all was said and done over the weekend, Hannah couldn’t do it.  She either could not or would not sit down and write out her statement. She said,”Why bother?  It isn’t going to make anything different,” and unfortunately she is probably right.  I have been diligently working on a statement on behalf of all of us, and it isn’t going well.  I think because there is a part of me that feels the same way as Hannah does; that it is futile.  I have to, and I am, and I have until tomorrow morning.  But-it fucking sucks.

I did get a little bit of information about CF’s past on Friday night, a little nugget that was mentioned without the person really knowing how potentially huge a nugget it was.  In short, I may be able to provide the Prosecutor with the name of the person who he molested all those years ago.  They have been unable to locate her due to marriage and name changes and 25 years going by, so this could be something useful.  Not holding my breath, but I will definitely be calling them later this morning to share what I learned.  I am so far beyond hoping for anything at this point, so if any of you have hope left, this would be the time to bring it out in full force.

In the meantime, I am working on my statement as we speak, keeping the window open throughout the day so as things are formed in my head, I can jot them down.  I do this whenever it is something important, I jot things down and I free write and at the end I can usually cobble together something meaningful; I believe this will be the case now as well.  And we wait and wait, just wanting it all over with.  Well, not that it will ever be OVER, but wanting at least the legal bullshit to be finished.

And we wait.

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18 thoughts on “And We Wait

  1. Oh, I really really hope that Hannah decides to write something. Even if all she wants to write is “this fucking sucks” or “you’re an asshole.” But of course, this is her battle, and if she can’t do that right now then she can’t force it. It isn’t like she loses the chance to say how she feels at midnight tonight. She will decide when she’s ready and it will probably occur multiple times in the future — and she’ll decide how and what she wants to say. But I can’t help but hope that she is able to make some sort of statement right now. Even a blank piece of paper and an explanation that she’s not able to do more b/c of how much this has affected her…. even that would be good. I’m sending her some MAJOR strength from MN.
    .-= Jill´s last blog ..Death really sucks!! =-.

  2. I hope the nugget pans out. That SOB deserves to be hit with everything possible.

    Maybe by writing you can get a little catharsis if nothing else. With my divorce, I remember just wanting it to be over. As long as it drags on the wound is open and you can’t get resolution. It’s easier to heal when there’s an air of finality to things.

    I’m sending all my hope to you in this.
    .-= Cat´s last blog ..Weekend =-.

  3. Oh, Kori, don’t let up now! It IS almost over and if you don’t put the effort forth all the way to the end you will be so regretful that you didn’t, later. Especially if he gets off lightly. I just can’t imagine how you would feel if that happens and you didn’t use this last opportunity to say whatever you can to sway the powers that be to make his sentence just.
    .-= Krissa´s last blog ..Things I would take a close up of if I had a fancy camera #2 =-.

  4. Waiting sucks! I was going to suggest the fuck you asshole route myself. Hopefuly something good will come of your new information. Sending hugs to you guys.

  5. Even though I’m partial to the F word, HOPE is a really good four letter word. I do believe that your statement will have an impact. I really do. Sending you and Hannah all the fucking hopes I can.
    .-= michelle´s last blog ..FEED THEM =-.

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