When all was said and done over the weekend, Hannah couldn’t do it. She either could not or would not sit down and write out her statement. She said,”Why bother? It isn’t going to make anything different,” and unfortunately she is probably right. I have been diligently working on a statement on behalf of all of us, and it isn’t going well. I think because there is a part of me that feels the same way as Hannah does; that it is futile. I have to, and I am, and I have until tomorrow morning. But-it fucking sucks.
I did get a little bit of information about CF’s past on Friday night, a little nugget that was mentioned without the person really knowing how potentially huge a nugget it was. In short, I may be able to provide the Prosecutor with the name of the person who he molested all those years ago. They have been unable to locate her due to marriage and name changes and 25 years going by, so this could be something useful. Not holding my breath, but I will definitely be calling them later this morning to share what I learned. I am so far beyond hoping for anything at this point, so if any of you have hope left, this would be the time to bring it out in full force.
In the meantime, I am working on my statement as we speak, keeping the window open throughout the day so as things are formed in my head, I can jot them down. I do this whenever it is something important, I jot things down and I free write and at the end I can usually cobble together something meaningful; I believe this will be the case now as well. And we wait and wait, just wanting it all over with. Well, not that it will ever be OVER, but wanting at least the legal bullshit to be finished.
And we wait.