I was going to post about religion yesterday, it being Sunday and all, but I just had too much going on to really sit down and write; this is the trouble, I have all these words floating around in my head and I was so glad to get the Internet at home and all of that, but when do I blog? At work. I know I need to set aside time every night to write, be it on the blog or in general, but I haven’t been able to make that a priority lately. One more thing to try to figure out. One really interesting thing I read in my AA meditations last week was how important it is to have time for yourself, and while I know that, the meditation was the first really practical suggestion I have found recently. It said, “Tell your family that after 8:00 pm, you are no longer on duty.” It went on to talk about how that doesn’t mean I ignore my family after 8:00, but that the time to go over homework assignments, sign papers for school, go over the schedule for the next day, whatever, is over with at 8:00 pm. The benefits are on the surface just for ME, but that when family members get used to it, they will benefit as well. So, with school starting up next week, I think I will try this and let you know how it goes.
I digress. The reason I was going to talk about religion yesterday was because we all went to a church BBQ on Saturday, and it got me thinking. This is a church where Sam goes to Sunday School every week, they have a bus that provides transportation and it picks him up every Sunday. The people are really very nice, it isn’t a weird thing at all, and they DON’T come knocking at the door weekly or push us all to come (unlike the Other Church I have written about, where they just drop by without notice. I had another visitor yesterday, and it just annoyed the shit out of me. Then I was thinking, “Damn it, if we had just gotten home from Boise three minutes later, she would have come by and we’d have still been gone!”). Anyway, Sam has been going there for several months, so we thought maybe it would be good to go check it out. There were quite a few people there that Steve knew (and he even got up and played a few games of basketball with them!), and a couple I knew, and everyone was really, really nice; it was a good time. The thing that made me think is that this is a church where the women always wear dresses, even in their day-to-day lives, and they all have really long hair that they wear up in these very elaborate and beautiful coils, and based on those two things alone, I would be reluctant to “join.” I am terrible with my hair, for one thing; it NEVER looks good, and if a pre-requisite of membership is being able to have my hair look like that, they would totally kick me out. But really, this is what I don’t understand about church: why are there all these rules, who came UP with these rules, what purpose do they serve, and does God really give a shit? Am I any less a believer because I wear slacks to work and to the grocery store? Am I less a Christian because my hair is short and never curled? I really just don’t understand that concept at all. Unfortunately, I am not yet courageous enough to come right out and ask, so I was left pondering it the entire time. Also, no one wears wedding rings. To me, a wedding ring is very important; when I had one, I wore it, all of the time. But at this church, not one person wore a ring, which just seemed strange. I wonder if there will ever be a place where I fit in, church-wise.
After the BBQ, we all went to the fair to see the hypnotist, which was hilarious in the extreme. We walked around the fair, too, and Owen and Sam both got to ride on the mechanical bull. Very cool, actually, despite how hick-ish that sounds (oh, wait, that’s right, we ARE hicks!). I felt blessed; it was the weekend before payday so there was no money to do anything that wasn’t free (we had to save what little we had to make it to Boise and back yesterday), but not one of the kids asked for a single thing. And weren’t pissy about it at all. We walked around and looked at things, and the little boys were completely content to look at all of the animals and just wander (though admittedly Owen was slightly disappointed; he had it in his head that there would be hippos there).
Then, yesterday, we went to get Eli from Boise (three weekends in a row we have made that drive!), which was excellent. I was glad we got the school stuff straightened out before having to talk to Hannah and Eli’s dad about it; much easier once it is a fait accompli. He really doesn’t CARE, mind you, he just wants to feel like he has a say, which I get. So even though it always ends up being the best decision for whichever kid about whom we are speaking, sometimes it takes a struggle to get to that point. This time, it was a done deal, and I very bluntly said, “Whether this is where any of us WANT her or not, it is the only real chance she is going to have at graduating.” “Cool,” he says, “that sounds great.” My petty enjoyment of the day was forcing his wife to engage in a conversation with me. She doesn’t like me one bit, and hasn’t ever since Hannah decided she wanted to come back home and I had to tell her, “Look; whether you like it or not, I am the mother and K. is the father and this is our decision, not yours.” Consequently, she will go out of her way to avoid having to talk to me. So I went out of my way to include her in the conversation and ask her about her job and yes, watch her squirm. Like I said, petty-but damn it, he and I have been divorced for 16 years now; why does it have to be such a big deal that we are still part of one another’s lives? We have two kids together, for God’s sake, and if she thinks I somehow have the hooks in him after all these years, well, she needs to examine HER issues. Whatever; good times.
So we got Eli back, and it was hilarious on the way home. We were all trying to talk to him, of course, so Owen would grab him and say, “I not happy now.” “Why?” Eli would ask, and Owen would answer, ” Cause you not talking to me!” Or he would interrupt and say, “Talk to me now, Eli!” Very, very funny. The trip home went well, and we are all just happy to be under the same roof again. I am sure the lovely, cozy feeling will last about two and a half more days, but for now, it IS lovely.
Now, then, we start another week and gear up for school starting next week. It feels like fall is here, with the air cooling down already and the air beginning to show that peculiar autumn light. This? Is my favorite time of year.