The Squeaky Wheel….

I emailed the newspaper yesterday to ask why they didn’t publicize the results of the sentencing; I think I wrote about that.  Today I got an email from a reporter asking what the relationship between CF and Hannah was, etc…and do I think Hannah would be willing to talk with her?  So I told her that I would give Hannah her number after school and if Hannah wants to call her, then great.  Well, that sounds abrupt, but it wasn’t.   I haven’t talked to Hannah about the possibility of speaking to the press; so far, there have been no interviews, just facts.  However, now that it is over and done, I think it would be really good for Hannah in terms of having publicized just how this all made her feel, and her reactions to the sentence, and have people READ it.  Is it going to change anything for her?  No; but it might help her feel just a little more empowered, and also, let’s be honest, as her parent, I want people to know just how these things can happen, and what the effect can be.  I want, too, to have this as public as possible (within reason) so that people will see him and know him for what he is.    Maybe it will help someone else down the road, who knows?

His car is still in front of the courthouse.  Where are all of those supporters now?

Moving on, Hannah is getting all geared up for Homecoming on Saturday, which is-well.  It sucks.  I want to keep her home and give her cookies to make her fat so that she doesn’t look so goddamned beautiful and grown up.  Not really, but kind of.  She is so excited, though, planning this first dance with a really nice boyfriend and how can I ever begrudge her that?  I wouldn’t; this is such a normal teen behaviour that God, it just makes me happy.  Even though I would like her to go in a gunnysack and brown paper bag.

 Sam came home yesterday all in a dither because he got picked to be a peer teacher for the Writing section of the Talented and Gifted Program; that?  Is awesome.  He said, very modestly, “I must have gotten my talent from you, mom.”  Ha. What a kid.  He is also thrilled to no end because Steve (drum roll please) is going on a field trip with Sam’s class next week.  I am slightly hurt (and shouldn’t be, but this is the topic for an entirely different post, believe me!) that Sam didn’t even ask me to go, or rather he did, but seemed relieved when I told him no.  In fact, I had barely finished with, “I have taken so much time off work that…” before he said, “I’ll ask Steve!’  But then I remembered that I went on a field trip with Hannah’s second grade class and spent a good part of it wondering if the glass in the bus windows was, in fact, shatterproof, and if I could slit my wrists fast enough with the shards, so there you go.

I am feeling much better today, which is odd in that I didn’t feel BAD yesterday.  I just feel somewhat more refreshed in general.  It helps that I am helping a friend with some business stuff  HE is working on, and I am getting paid, so that has been a totally new and fun experience.  It helps that Steve had my lunch packed and ready for me to go this morning, helps that the sun is clear and bright with just a hint of coolness in the air.  Owen has taken to wearing his goggles aka Scuba Steve, which never fails to crack me up.  Really, life just keeps going on, and that is never a bad thing.


16 thoughts on “The Squeaky Wheel….

  1. I hope the paper thing goes well. I would be paranoid about them putting any kind of “spin” on it, but I don’t know anything about how that works. I follow a lot of politics, so I’m probably less trustful than most of the media (they manage to portray everyone as a communist or a nazi these days, but that’s a different subject.)

    I love that his car is still at the courthouse. HA.
    .-= Cat´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.

    • @Cat, I don’t know how much spin they really CAN put on it. He pled guilty, he got life in prison, but I do know what you mean. I think it will be fine, I really do-and I think it needs to be publicized, because in four months he is going to be out walking the streets, and he won’t have an ankle monitor any longer. He will be able to walk around just like any one of the rest of us, and I don’t believe the thought of life in prison would stop him if he wanted to molest someone else, I really don’t. So yeah, I think it is important, and I think that Hannah will feel vindicated even more.

      Yes, I thought that was quite humorous, too. I am wondering how long it has to be parked there before it does get impounded?

      • @kori, Yeah, I’m sure you’re right. The only way I could see spinning was if they stated his defense, but even if they do that the bottom line is that he was convicted so his defense was rejected by the court.
        .-= Cat´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.

      • @Cat, You know, the funny thing is that he never really HAD a defense. I mean, there was never any opportunity for one to come up because they delayed and delayed and then finally he pled to one count; I believe that they weren’t even planning on having him take the stand if it DID go to trial, so I am curious as to what his defense WAS. Thankfully, though, we don’t have to find out, because I would assume it would have been used to make both Hannah and I look like the bad ones.

        But I DO know what you mean; there is always that fear and worry about how “people” might read it, and even now, I know there are people who believe him over Hannah (though I would think a guilty plea would suspend that belief, but people are funny that way); I just have to hope that the reporter is cognizant of that. Hannah may decide she doesn’t WANT to talk to her, too, in which case it will be a moot point.

  2. Aaaaaah! This is so nice to read and refreshing.
    I can tell you are feeling refreshed and it just comes shining through!
    Yes, I totally remember the suicidal thoughts during multiple different field trips. OHMIGAWD! The bus rides were the worst.
    I think it’s great that Hannah will be given the opportunity to talk to the reporter, and if she wants nothing to do with it, then that’s fine too. She is in control of it all and she will know it.
    .-= Krissa´s last blog ..My confession =-.

    • @Krissa, I think that is so true; this IS something she has control over, and she gets to decide what she wants to do about it, which will feel good to her.

      I have spent some years feeling secretly guilty because I hated going on field trips; thank you for secretly hating them, too. 🙂

  3. I stumbled across your blog going from site to site. I read this post and had to read back a few more to understand your story. When I was the same age your daughter is now I was …. even now I can’t think of the word, I’m reluctant to call it assault, but restrained, held against my wishes, in a position I didn’t wish to be in, after having said no, and subjected to someone else’s wants. By someone I trusted too, someone I counted as a friend.
    For a very long time, it over shadowed everything I did and everything I wanted to do. I cannot imagine how much worse this must be for your daughter.
    It will be four years ago this December. There are still good days and bad days, but more and more I feel like I’m free. I’m studying to do a job I’ve always dreamed of, with friends I KNOW I can trust, with a partner who supports me every step of the way.
    Please please pass on a message to your daughter for me. That if ever she feels held back, or wronged, or that this has ruined her – this will forever change the person she is. It will make her stronger, and braver, and more compassionate. Every single day will take her one day further from the day that it happened, until a point when she can NOT think about it every day. And every single day she will get closer to where she wants and needs to be.
    And for yourself – you are doing a fantastic job with coping with this and supporting your daughter.
    I am sending as much love and support as I can to both you and your daughter, as well as the rest of your family. It will never go away entirely, but it will become easier. I promise.
    Please excuse me not leaving my name or my email address.

    • @R, I hope that you do come back to read my reply-and I wouldn’t typically approve a comment from an anonymous writer do to some problems in the past, but this rings of the truth to me, so I hope I am not wrong in doing so.

      Anyway, what I wanted to tell you is first and foremost, thank you for your kind words and support; as you can imagine, it has been terrible difficult for us all (not just my daughter and I, but the entire family) this last nine months. Bad enough to have this happen and have to deal with the trauma involved, but also to have to be at the mercy of a justice system that really doesn’t seem very concerned about the victim a good part of the time. The sentencing on Monday was the culmination of a lot of sleepless nights and days where we just weren’t sure if we could keep moving forward, and so much fear as to be impossible to express. Yet-we did it, one stinking day at a time.

      And you might be reluctant to call it assualt, what happened to you, and that is your right; I dont’ know the story, and I dont need to know. I see these things in balck and white now, and the fact that your perpetrator held you down against your wishes and sexually abused you is, in fact, assault. And I am so, so sorry that you experienced that. I hope that you had the support then that you needed, and that you were able to get some sort of acceptable resolution in a legal sense.

      I am also glad that you are doing so well now, and that you clearly have a lot of love in your life. I will gladly pass your message on to my daughter; I am putting together a scrap-book type thing for her, filled with letter to her from these amazing, wonderful people in my life who have experience similar things and have come out the victor. I would very much like for you to send her a letter as well, if that is something you feel comfortable with. You can email me (go into the Contact page of the blog for my information), and I don’t need to knwo your name or your particulars, and neither does she.

      you are strong, and I commend you for standing up and talking about what was done, and what your life is like today. Be well, be happy, and thank you, so much.

  4. Oh how great that she’s going to Homecoming. And congrats to Sam as well. Glad to see youre generally refreshed. Good luck with the newspaper.

  5. Kori,
    I’ve been praying for you, Hannah..and this whole situation… I hope that whatever she decides..that she can hold her head high and know that she did what was right!
    I hope that she has a fun, fun, time at homecoming…
    Sounds like you guys are all doing pretty well…I’m so glad!
    .-= Juls´s last blog ..Turning 13..Crazee Style =-.

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