Welcome to Friday Fragments, brought to you by Mrs.4444. It offers a chance to jot down all your random thoughts for the week in one post, which is especially beneficial for people like me who have a LOT of random thoughts floating through the old noggin at any given time.
***You all might recall my scorn some time back regarding the hysteria about the swine flu. I should know better than to say anything about stuff like that, because I think I jinxed myself. Sam is now stricken with what his doctor believes is the dreaded H1N1 virus. she is starting him on the Tamiflu today, as well as prescribing the usual treatments-lots of liquids, Tylenol and/or Ibuprofen for the fever, and lots of rest. Of course, his asthma is particularly awful right now, so he has been taking breathing treatments every two hours. If any of you are at all familiar with those particular drugs, they are like speed. So the kid is ill, but the drugs make him feel like he can move mountains-not a good combination. Send up good thoughts. I am not an alarmist by any means, but the lurking specter of things like pneumonia and secondary bacterial infections looms in the back of my mind. Such is life with one of those pesky high-risk kids.
***There is something wrong with my feed thingy so that my posts aren’t showing up in people’s readers. I don’t know how to fix it. This is NOT good for a terminally insecure person such as myself. I posted on Wednesday and got three comments-THREE!-so of course was filled with angst because I was sure I was being blackballed for some faux pas and was equally sure that I should just take down the whole blog because nobody likes me. I think I am perhaps a liiiitle mentally ill, what do you think?
***Stay at home moms (the normal kind, not the ones who compulsively exercise or start drinking at noon or shop-a lot-) really amaze me. As in, how do you stay home with your kids all day, every day, and not go insane? I love my kids so much that it hurts, and it was hard having to take them all to daycare when they were babies and toddlers. Even now, when Owen waked up in an especially sweet mood or if I am feeling a little down, I would love to not have to go to work. However, I simply do not have it in me to be a stay at home mom. like I said, I love my kids to distraction, but I also really, really like going to work and being with adults I mostly really enjoy. I used to feel guilty because I didn’t really WANT to be a stay-at-home mom, but now I just accept that I am a far better parent if I work.
***You all remember me writing about my friend M. who died some months ago, right? I ran into his girlfriend last night. Literally; we were in line together at the store last night and she turned around as I was stepping forward and we ran into each other. She looked up and said excuse me, then looked again and simply burst into tears and grabbed onto me. I didn’t know what to do; I know her, both from work and from when she used to be in the program, but it would be a stretch to say that we were ever friends. So I did the only thing I could think of, which was to hold on to her and kiss her head while she was crying. I know it sounds silly on paper, but it wasn’t. She has gone through so much this last year-and no, M.’s death wasn’t even the worst of it (there is a whole backstory to it that I simply can’t share because it is too personal. Not to ME, but to her. One thing I will share is that for a variety of reasons, she wasn’t even able to go to his funeral and have that small bit of closure. Her choices led her to that, but it doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking). I haven’t seen her for a long time, so maybe that is why the downward spiral that is her life was so obvious to me. She is still out there, drinking and using, and I just-I don’t know. I think she had the emotional reaction she did simply because she knows me from the program and was ashamed and embarrassed and in a lot of emotional pain. My heart is broken for her.
***Hannah just got her progress report from school. They are halfway through the second session of school, and she has A’s in both classes. Her GPA is now a whopping 3.6. Her grades are wonderful, but even more wonderful is the fact that for the first time, she is really excited about it. She could hardly wait to show me the printout, and also showed Steve immediately upon him getting into the car last night. She is growing so much, internally, that I am in awe of the difference in her.
***Speaking of growing, Owen has suddenly shot up and his pants all look like highwaters. If it wasn’t so stinking cute, IU would be chagrined, but instead I just have to look at him and laugh. Time to go shopping, though.
For more wonderful Friday Fragments, head on over to see Mrs.4444 and the other participants. We are nothing if not entertaining!