Whew. I am holidayed out. Two long four day weekends in a row, and the kids home for two full weeks, it’s a wonder I am not racing around the house tearing my hair out by the chunk and chewing the skin off my arms. The kids all seem ready to get back into the routine of school and daycare, too-Owen and Sam got their clothes set out last night (which okay, a “real” mom would do that every night, but not this mom. I always think of it, but when it comes to follow through I just suck), and Hannah and Eli fought over the straightener and somehow got that worked out, and well. Monday morning rolled around.
Things are a little wonky at our house just lately, though, and I would be hard-pressed to put a name to it. It isn’t that anything is wrong, per se, there is just a funky vibe running through everyone right now; I am hoping it is just too much togetherness. I know that Owen was totally thrilled to be going back to daycare this morning; he has had fun at home with the big kids, but he has missed his Jacquie and his “dends” (for some reason, he does not say his F’s. Odd, but whatever), and Sam was also glad to get back to school. I am not so sure about Hannah and Eli, really, but Hannah’s first performance is on Friday, and I know she is excited about that. Me, not so much, since this is the whole Stage Mom event, but it will be, I hope, fun.
It seems odd to be turning over another page on the calendar. Typically after the holidays I go into a bit of a January slump; no upcoming holidays to look forward to, just the long months of winter looming ahead. This year, though, feels different. I know that the last year zipped by in a flash, so as I got to work and change all of the calendars and such, it just struck me that there really isn’t that much time before spring, and birthdays, and in three seconds after that it will be summer. Isn’t that strange to think about? Now don’t get me wrong; in February when we get more sub-freezing temperatures and my joints ache continually from the cold and the damp, I might feel as if winter will never end, but for now, well, it just doesn’t seem that scary to me. Today is sunny, and while cold, well, such is the cycle of life and the seasons and the passing of time.
Sam asked me yesterday if we could have a “Just Us” day, and it reminded me how long it has been since the two of us really had any alone time together. It is important for each of the kids, I know, but Sam is your typical middle child, even though there are two siblings older than him, simply because of the age difference between him and the others. There are 7 and 6 years respectively between he and the older two, and 7 years almost to the day between he and Owen, so the poor kid has been feeling very left out and on his own as of late. He doesn’t fit on with Hannah and Eli any longer, and Owen is just a tad too young to be a real playmate. I have seen the signs that he has been feeling neglected, but it took him actually SAYING,”I need to just be with you for awhile” before I actually did something about it (Mom of the Year Award? It’s totally mine). So one night this week, Sam and I are going to go on a date; I am not sure yet what night, nor am I sure what we will do, but food will be involved and perhaps just a long walk in the cold night together. I just know that of all the kids, he is perhaps the most vulnerable right now, and it is not too late to intervene.
So-this is what my week looks like, and it feels really good to be back at work, back to my usual routine. Change is good and necessary and I am trying to learn to roll with it, but routine is also good in order to keep my sanity; may it be a day of balancing both.