The bi-weekly recap

Ah, time to dust off the old workspace and get back into the swing of things, isn’t it? I have had my little break, and while it wasn’t intentional, it feels good to have taken a couple of weeks off from the blogging and the whole Internet in general. I can get pretty immersed in other people’s lives, and while that isn’t a bad thing at all, I can get too involved in the blog world and neglect the day to day friendships and occurrences. I am sure that a psychologist would have something to say about my intimacy issues and how I choose to avoid contact with people who might really get to know me, but since I already know this is a problem, it’s okay, right? Moving on…

Hannah got the official notice yesterday that she is “kicked out” of her young Women’s group because she is pregnant. They don’t CALL it that, of course. They call it being moved up to the adult women’s group where she will be exposed to her “new peer group,” but the reality is that they don’t want her to be a bad influence on the other young girls. Which is crazy in that there is one girl in particular who shows up at church activities drunk or stoned and they not only allow her to participate when she is using, they go out of their way to ask her to come back. Just more of the same judgemental bullshit that makes me hate most organized religions. The woman who was told to be the messenger actually said that if everyone’s “sins” were as evident as Hannah’s, they would have problems, so I was like,”So basically you are telling me that as long as the other young girls’ sins are kept secret, they can still take part in all the church activities?” She didn’t like hearing that, but since it is the truth, well, I really didn’t care.

But other than that incident, things have been pretty calm in general as of late. Hannah’s last OB appointment went well, although she still hasn’t gained any weight. However, her doctor told her that it isn’t time to worry yet, the baby is growing fine and Hannah is measuring right where she should, so if she hasn’t gained anything by NEXT month, they might start to get concerned. I personally think she is fine; I didn’t ever gain a lot of weight with my babies, either, and they all turned out fine. She does have an appointment with a dietitian through WIC next month, because of the lack of weight gain, and she is disappointed about that-but I say hey, you might get some really good information, just go and hear what she has to say.

The other three kids are all doing okay, though I feel really quite torn lately with trying to make sure they are not being overshadowed by everything going on with Hannah. Eli and I went driving together last week for an hour or so, and that was really nice; good practice for him as far as driving, and the opportunity to be together in a different environment. I sat back and let him drive wherever he wanted to go, and talk about whatever he wanted to talk about, and of all things, he brought up my marriage to his dad. The how we met, what it was like, why we got divorced discussion. It was really quite neat to have the conversation with him, because he is old enough to know how his dad is, so understood a lot of things that he maybe didn’t quite “get” before. Also thankfully, I really don’t have a lot of bad things to say about his dad; the hard feelings are long gone, so I could be honest with Eli without any kind of bitterness or choosing my words carefully.

We got Sam all registered for his first ever summer camp adventure, so that itself is exciting. He went to Seattle on his own last year to spend time with a good friend of mine, and this year it is camp-I am so grateful to be able to provide (with the help of others, of course) him with different opportunities like this. I grew up in a small town and was pretty clueless when it came to how other people lived, and I am glad he will have seen a lot of different people and lifestyles in his life.

Sam and Owen both have birthdays coming up this week, 11 and 4 respectively, and it just seems so strange to me how quickly the time has flown by, and how much they have both grown. When we went in to see Sam’s asthma/allergy doctor last week, he had gained nearly ten pounds in the three months since we first went in. For Sam, this is amazing and a very good thing; I credit the new regimen of medicines, because he isn’t having to take nearly as much of the ones that make him hyped up, and therefore he is sleeping and eating better all the way around. No less active-he is still very thin, but at least he no longer looks malnourished.

And me? I am all right. I say that with some wonderment, because for the moment I really am. I think it might have a small part to do with the anti-depressant, and also just a general sense of acceptance regarding different situations. Steve and I had to go out and get a new dryer on Friday, and I didn’t freak out nearly as much as I did when we got the fridge-progress. When the lady from the church came over, instead of completely losing it and sounding like a very angry crazy woman, I told her how I felt rationally and with very little display of how furious I actually was-progress. I have been struggling with some feelings of resentment and anger at certain people in my life, and I finally realized that no matter what their outsides look like, I am probably on the whole a much happier person than they are, which makes me realize how much more that is worth than anything material.

So-that’s the basic recap of the last couple of weeks, and I am glad to be back and warming up the writing part of my brain again. I have letters to write, people to talk to, and it looks as if my self-imposed period of isolation is finally coming to a close.

16 thoughts on “The bi-weekly recap

  1. I hate that part of organized religion too. What a shame, because your daughter is getting a terrible message, and I imagine the other girls would learn a lot about why they don’t want to get pregnant.

    I could rant, but you do that best.

    You’re awesome. Happy birthday to Sam and other-Owen.
    .-= Nancy C´s last blog ..I’m Trying to Get It. =-.

  2. I hate that about religious people. Maybe Mormons are a lot like Presbyterians. I just got through telling someone how I think they are the modern-day Pharisees because they think Christianity goes from the outside in, not the inside out. They obsess over appearances. Ugh! Such an example of my pet peeves these days.

    Hannah’s probably too smart for them anyway.

    Glad you got to talk with Eli, and glad Sam is gaining weight! Welcome back.

  3. I’m sorry Hannah’s youth group were such jerks. This is one of my peeves too, the people who need the church’s support the most are the ones who are shunned. Hypocrites!! Whatever happened to ‘love thy neighbor?’

    Good to hear everyone is doing well and you are feeling a new sense of calm.

  4. Glad you’re back! I can relate to the intimacy thing. Ahem.

    I lost seven kilos (fourteen pounds?) in my first four months pregnant with my first – it’s not unusual not to gain immediately.

    That church woman – that makes me SOOO angry. Judgemental crap. I’m always amazed at how these people are so happy to cast the first stone.

    Glad you’re feeling good. xx
    .-= Mwa´s last blog ..A penis by any other name =-.

  5. It must have great to unplug from the computer etc. Missed you and totally understand about the youth group being jerks. It doesn’t make sense at times.

    Sending Hugs to you and Glad that you were able to have a good chat. Those are the best.

  6. Well. You know how I feel about organized religion.
    But I am so glad to hear that things are going okay, that your mind is relatively at ease (or at ease-ier, anyway) and that your kids are healthy and well.
    .-= Ms. Moon´s last blog ..Oh Good Lord =-.

  7. Ok, I’m going to say it…that woman sounds like a b*tch…pardon my ‘french’ – but seriously “if everyones sins were apparent….” PUH-leeeeze!

    Let ye without sin cast the first stone!

    Sounds like you have a lot going on, but I’m glad you are able to stress less and enjoy the many different activities! 🙂

    .-= Kel´s last blog ..Style =-.

  8. Hey girl, glad you are back and feeling ok. I think your 1st paragraph says it for most of us bloggers.
    Are you going to find out the sex of the baby?
    You are better than I on the driving thing. My step sister is 16 and I am a wreck when I ride with her.
    .-= Danielle´s last blog ..101 Things about me =-.

  9. I haven’t told you that I love you lately.
    I love you!
    I haven’t been around as much as I would like to be and sure wish I was, I miss reading your posts.
    I will pray for Hannah. There is such garbage that goes on in so many churches. I was told I wasn’t welcome to come back to my moms bible study group next year because I was no longer making it out to their sunday services. What about love and not judging, what about encouraging and lifting up those in need?
    It made my heart sad to see the way that legalism is running churches, it just isn’t biblical! What would Jesus do?
    Anyway, this is turning into a post in itself.
    Love you!

  10. Stupid youth group. Glad you pointed out the hypocrisy.

    Hope Sam and Owen have great birthdays!

    Glad that car ride with Eli went well. I’m dreading and looking forward to those talks someday myself.

    I’m also very, very glad to hear you’re doing OK. I was worried about you.
    .-= Cat´s last blog ..Weekend =-.

  11. Been thinking about you a lot, wondering how things were coming along. I’m glad you’re feeling a little relief. It’s so strange that just a little re-balancing of those pesky brain chemicals makes it so much easier to cope with the same old life stuff.

    I would think Hannah’s doc would be OK with her not gaining too much weight yet…

    I would have a REALLY HARD TIME with that church stuff. hmmm.

    Glad the boys are well

    .-= michelle´s last blog ..Friday Fragments =-.

  12. Um, yeah, that women’s group leader is a b*tch. I cannot believe that’s a *church* group. At your first sentence, I imagined it was a group through Hannah’s school. Oh I just love it when nutcases make the rest of the Christians look bad. :-/

    I’m glad you’re back. Maybe someday I’ll be back to blogging too.

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