Hannah just called me in tears-happy tears-to let me know that some of her gifts from the shower have started to arrive. There will be a more in-depth post about that another day, but for now, suffice it to say that we are feeling pretty blessed right about now.
She also went to the doctor today, as she is now at the once a week point in the pregnancy (she was 36 weeks on Friday). She told me she is either 1 cm. dilated or 1% effaced, she isn’t sure which; maybe I should be going to her next appointment with her, eh? I have to kind of laugh-this is clearly her first pregnancy, and despite her maturity level is, in fact, only 17. In her mind, she is like,”Huh? What is the difference?” So to be somewhat aware of what is really going on down there is probably in both our best interests. And can I tell you here how insanely strange this is to be talking about my daughter being dilated? Yikes.
Still and all, isn’t this proof at its most basic that life does go on? And that it can and will provide sweetness even when it seems like everything else has gone to pot? I think so. And while we all know how I have felt in the past about the situation, still, soon there will be a new baby, and that in itself is a lovely miracle.
And while we are waiting for Aubry, school will start next week, so it will be a busy time the next little while. Once again I have three kids in three different schools, and Sam hits Junior High this year. I hope he learns early to keep his mouth shut, as he tends to be a little like his mother in that he often says what he thinks without giving himself a second or two to, you know, THINK.
Mostly today, I am practicing acceptance, working on feeling however I need to feel at any given moment, and moving forward. These days come in cycles, the good and the bad, and no doubt there will be grace to keep me going.