The long Labor Day weekend has passed by with no laboring being done at our house. We even went hiking and climbing yesterday to no avail-little Aubry seems content right where she is, though her Mama is anything BUT content. She has another doctor’s appointment tomorrow; you know, the one where the doctor very blithely says, “Schedule an appointment in case you are still pregnant!” With any kind of luck, she will have made some progress…and since I said nearly the exact same thing last week, you know how likely I think that is to happen. It’s kind of funny; a few people we know have been, all along, full of doom and gloom about the whole teen pregnancy thing, as in,”The baby is going to be tiny because all teen moms have tiny babies because they don’t eat right.” or “Usually teen moms go into labor early because they don’t take care of themselves…” and I want to point out here that she is 39.5 weeks, has gained 24 pounds, and the doctor is estimatingAubry to be close to 7 pounds. So there, oh ye naysayers!
Otherwise, most of the weekend was spent recuperating. Other than yesterday when we went to the City of Rocks, I was at home most of the time, and it was just what I needed. I went to my AA meeting on Friday, took naps, I went to bed early, and all in all, I think I am well on the road to recovery. I am still tired, but it doesn’t feel any longer like I am going to collapse at my desk, so progress has been made.
Eli came home from a weekend with friends with both ears pierced. I almost had a heart attack, because really? BOTH ears? It took me aback, and I am suddenly more aware than ever that my time of being his present and involved parent is almost gone. Oh, in a sense he will always need me, and of course I am still his mother, but he is growing so quickly and pushing me away in small increments, and it makes me shudder to realize how fast it all goes. I know that pulling and pushing away is normal and age appropriate, but it is still a bittersweet experience.
Otherwise, well, there are things going on, of course, but some of them are not mine to tell and others I am not ready to talk about, and through it all I am feeling amazingly peaceful. I am really just focusing on doing what is in front of me and trusting that I will be given what I need, and it seems to be working. I have so much of my own issues to work on that for the first time since I got sober, really, I am putting those things-ME-first. It takes hard work and practice, but if the end result is peace, it is well worth it.