***Today is Hannah’s birthday! The big 18. I can’t believe that not only is she a legal adult but is also a mom. She passed her written driving test yesterday, has her driving test scheduled for tomorrow, so assuming she passes it, she will have her license on Monday afternoon. Can anyone say “Yikes!?”
***J. called and the ultrasound results were normal. Now, this is a good thing, right? Only now we don’t know what is wrong, which is kind of frustrating. VERY frustrating, because now she wants to send me to another doctor (she is an FNP, not a “real” doctor, as she says), and then he will *try* to figure out what the deal is. I hate these things, and I know myself; I know that if I am feeling better by Monday I won’t go. For one thing, I don’t have the money for all sorts of tests to rule things out. For another, if the ultrasound was normal, what is the point? I feel like the implication is that it is all in my head, and I am NOT going to go to another doctor and pay him to tell me he doesn’t know what is wrong.
***I still feel grouchy these days, and I am not sure I can pin-point exactly what is wrong. Maybe lots of things all together, with Christmas coming up and all these mounting fears, I don’t know. I just don’t like where I am right now, emotionally. Seems like I am barely keeping my head above water on all fronts, and I am not entirely sure why. I know that happiness is a choice, meaning I can choose how to react to certain things and change my perspective and all of that, but fuck oh dear, why does it have to be so hard to do that?
***I know that some funny, good things happened over the week, but I am damned if I can remember a single one. On top of everything, perhaps I really am losing my mind?
For more (hopefully) lighthearted Friday Fragments, check out Half Past Kissin’ time. There are bound to be some better ones, I am sure of it!