Friday Fragments, Halloween Edition

Half-Past Kissin' Time
Haven’t done one of these for awhile, so special thanks to Mrs. 4444¬†for still doing these! It makes me smile that some things haven’t changed!
  • Owen went to bed with a stomach ache last night and Sam has been up barfing most of the night. This does not bode well for a happy Halloween, does it? The thing is, as long as Josie doesn’t get sick, we are still totally going trick-or-treating. She picked her own costume this year and I am NOT going to deny her the chance to wear it!
  • Steve was supposed to be flying home from work today but it has been changed now to Tuesday afternoon. This is another reason we WILL go out tonight, to distract the kids. It is a blessing that Steve has this job, but it isn’t easy on any of us.
  • In a bloodthirsty rampage a few months ago, the dogs killed all of our half-wild cats. We live in the country, which means we now have a mouse problem. This does not make me happy, as I witnessed one scurrying through the kids’ bathroom this morning.
  • We have a forecast of snow for this weekend. I am not sure how I feel about this.
  • Jose put these gel cling-on things on the window, Halloween themed. The way she has it set up, the black cat is pooping out a full moon. She thinks we are laughing because she is so sweet.
  • Even though I hate sick kids, I am also not entirely sad about having a quiet day. There may or may not be a nap later, and my house really needs attention after the goings on of the last few weeks.
  • Sam got accepted to go to a huge Modeling/Acting convention in New York Next year. This is a huge deal, and we are really excited.
  • We have to raise $15,000 to GET to the convention and have Sam participate. Lots less excited about that, but we have some great fundraising ideas and Sam set up a GoFundMe account. We can do it, right?

Well. I know there are better fragments out there so go check them out.

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Homeschooling

We had kind if an interesting year at school last year. Owen was identified and tested as gifted, which is thrilling-yet not, because we have no program in place at the school for gifted kids anymore. Funding, you know, and Butch Otter is a douchebag extraordinaire so no hope of GETTING any funding for the program and well. There were all sorts of suggestions for this we could do to help him at home, which yay! But then if we were supposed to be doing all of these things at home to enrich him, it wasn’t that far of a stretch to just decide to do ALL of it at home.

Then, for entirely different reasons, Sam was having trouble socially in school, which actually translates as “he came out as gay and life became hell.” As in, he was forced to quit the track team because no one wanted to run in front of a faggot, or be in the same locker room with one, and friends he has had since kindergarten stopped talking to him. Those kinds of problems, the ones that lots of adults turn a blind eye to because of their own personal beliefs.

Add to that the implementation of Common Core standards in Idaho and Steve and I just decided it was time. We had been doing school work over the summer, not a lot but just enough to keep them learning and interested, and both boys agreed that “trying” homeschooling would be ok.

Now, 6 weeks in, I have days where I think we made a great decision, and other days I am pretty sure that I am going to single-handedly ruin all of them. Which, according to other homeschooling moms I know, is completely normal. I have gotten a lot of information¬†and have a ton of resources, we have joined a home school co-op, and let’s just say it is an adventure.

That’s one small portion of the catch-up phase of the blog; I promise, there won’t always be a back story, but a lot of things have changed in my life, our lives and it feels good to me to actually write about them, you know? It always just makes things more real to me, and it feels good to be back here writing.

So….

I had forgotten how much I hate (and suck at) coming up with titles. It’s like the absolute worst thing to ever have to do. Which has nothing to do with this post, just a little thought flitting through my head.

One of the things I did want to write about tonight, though, is that fact that I have four cigarettes left and am putting on a nicotine patch tonight. And I am nervous and afraid and yes, panicked. Because you know, smoking is an addiction and it’s so terrible and all that, which is true but ALSO because man, it’s my crutch. Bored? Smoke. Tired of waiting? Go have a smoke. Annoyed at the kids/spouse/dogs/mailman? Have a smoke. It’s like that six minutes of absolute heaven, where everything just sort of melts away. Really. If you have never smoked, you don’t get that, but it’s there for every smoker I know.

At any rate, my mom died unexpectedly and suddenly last August. Which is a whole other freaking SERIES of posts, but I am not ready for that yet. The only reason I bring it up now is that you know, she was 65, and that is really young, and I don’t want to die. There were lots of other issues with her, but she smoked 3 packs of smokes a day, y’all. Let’s just say it didn’t help.

At any rate, I have been working my way toward this point for the past year and two months. As in, I have been preparing myself to be ready to be finished smoking. And it sucks, yes, that it has taken this long, but it is what it is. So for the last two months I have been ACTIVELY getting ready to be done, things like substituting nicotine gum for cigarettes occasionally, visiting a smoking cessation website, consciously choosing to not light one. Little things, but they have finally brought me here.

It might seem like such a small thing, but really, if it does, you have never smoked. That’s all I can say. But, I don’t know, it’s just time. And it’s also no small thing, for me. And in all my life, writing things down is a way to make things real, plus it opens up a feeling of accountability. Not that anyone ELSE holds me accountable, it’s just that being open and honest about it helps ME be accountable.

So. Here’s to the last four smokes.

Dusting Off…Again

The last few days I have had reason to look through some old posts on this blog, and I realized how much I have missed it. I have been writing for pay, you know, such wonderful things as how to grow/harvest/dry marijuana, the average cost of cosmetic surgery, and even some really compelling stuff about rats and termites. Living the dream, you know. It’s not the same as writing here, though, and I miss the community, the friends, the day-to-day details of my life down in black and white.

I haven’t decided if I will continue on with this particular blog. After all, it chronicles so much of my earlier me, my single-momness and my craziness and so much freaking drama that I almost don’t recognize some of it. At the same time, though, who I am not is largely dependent on who I used to be, just (marginally) better. I guess the thing to do is just write, and listen to those little voices that tell me what to do next.

Question, though-Google reader is obsolete, right? so is there another reader I can use? I miss all my old blog friends, and I know not everyone is still around but I also know that blogging is not dead. Suggestions?