Job Hunting

Today I had to go take a test for a job with the Postal Service (the place, not the band). I already took the first parts of the exam and apparently I didn’t get flagged as a psychopath or an idiot, so I got invited to take the third and final assessment. It was kind of funny; I had to go to Twin Falls to take the test at the college testing center, and it was all very professional, and they followed the rules set forth by the USPS to a T. Which is good, but slightly disconcerting. I mean, I had to empty my pockets and pull them inside out so they could see I had nothing in them, I was not able to wear my coat inside because it was too bulky (hello, winter? I froze all through the test!), they made me pull up my sleeves and shake the legs of my jeans to make sure I wasn’t carrying any materials with which to cheat. I had just gotten a coffee, and I knew I couldn’t take it in there, but I felt like I needed to needle them a little: “What? Do I have to leave my coffee in the locker? How could I possibly cheat with a cup of coffee?” It was like talking to a Secret Service person. No smile, just a very serious, “Oh no, you could spill it and ruin our computers.” Which of course, but I was secretly laughing. The proctors were all really lovely, though, and the test was-well. It was a test. I did pretty well until the very last, which was the portion involving memorizing different address ranges and picking out which route to put each piece of mail based on the address. It was brutal and was the one part of the test I knew I would have a hard time with.

My final score was a 79, which frankly isn’t that great. You have to get a 70 or above to be considered for a position, so I guess in that case it’s ok, but unless I got the highest score out of all the people who took or are taking the test, I suspect I am out of the running for this job. The proctor for the test told me I would hear back in 2-3 weeks, so I am not holding my breath. I will just continue to apply for other jobs and hope like hell something comes up very, very soon.

I have learned that finding a job when you are 46 and haven’t worked in the traditional job force for 7 years is nearly impossible. I did work from home and even had my own small business for 3 years, but I need something that pays more and offers benefits; everyone’s dream, right? But none of that really matters nowadays. Everything is online (I have applied for 20+ jobs and not once have I filled out a paper application), so if you don’t look good on the computer, you don’t even get called in for an interview. This is frustrating for me because I am super smart, I learn things really quickly, and I know I could easily sell myself to an employer if I could be granted an interview. It’s been rather depressing; I haven’t even been given an interview to work in a factory as a janitor.

If something doesn’t come up soon, I may have to sell myself to a totally different kind of employer, if you know what I mean. Which could actually create a whole other kind of problem in that I am old, and kind of fat, and not very pretty. I hear there’s a market for that kind of kink, but…let’s hope I don’t have to find out!