In Which I Alienate My friends

Okay.  There are a few things that have been, well, bugging the shit out of me a little bit lately.  Just throwing that out there right from the get go.  I haven’t felt the need for a disclaimer for quite some time, but here it is: this is just my opinion.  If you recognize yourself in something I write here today, and you are my friend, I don’t mean you.  Or if I do, you already know it. 

***What the hell?  Stop writing shitty blog posts about what an asshole your husband is in an effort to be funny.  Which is different than talking about a real problem about money or the kids or he might be having an affair or you are thinking about having an affair because the love, she is gone.  That is real life stuff, stuff that affects each of us in different ways and deserves to be talked about with respect and caring.  The whole “My husband is such an asshole because he bought the wrong kind of coffee/milk/diapers/toilet paper, and then he put a load of laundry in and shrunk my best shirt what a dick” stuff just isn’t all that funny to me. 

***If you are a single mom and all you write about is sex and partying, you are fulfilling the stereotypical view society has about single moms.  Yes, you bet we should be women as well as mothers, single or not.  Yes, you bet we have the same right to indulge in one-night-stands or that horrible phrase “friends with benefits,” and shouldn’t be cast aside for being sexual, sensual women.  I get that, boy do I get that.  However, don’t write about how much you feel looked down on and hurt by this patriarchal society one day, then write about being totally wasted and hung over the next day.  Really.  If you need to talk and act like a cheap three dollar hooker, please don’t do it in the same breath as talking about your kids.  Just sayin.  For the record, I also don’t read married mom blogs that talk all about the same stuff; I like subtle references and quiet funnies, not the really outre stuff about sex.

***What is the deal with the website, Aiming Low?  I read a post last week that actually offended me, which is unusual, so I spent a good part of today scrolling through the archives to see if it was just that particular post.  While it WAS, in fact, the only one that really bothered me, which indicates that it touched something inside myself, well, I personally don’t get the appeal.  There are all of these wonderful writers and strong women who are vying for some kind of celebrity status by embracing mediocrity and, well, aiming low.  I don’t know; I don’t get this.  We all have shitty parenting moments or days or weeks or hell, years.  And like the marital problems or issues, these things need to be out in the open and talked about honestly.  However, trying to be the best shittiest parent around isn’t cool, especially when you go over the top in an effort, you guessed it, to be funny. 

***I was touched pretty deeply by an ongoing debate over at Ms. Moon’s pad, which was inspired by a post over at Just Eat It.  And if you want to go read both the posts, you will know.  The more I think about it, the more I believe that while every single baby deserves the best start in life possible, while drug-addicted mothers should be held criminally responsible for using while pregnant, nobody has the right to force a woman to be sterilized.  Even though there are all of these convincing, heartfelt reasons why this should maybe be okay, there is still such a huge part of me that  thinks that nobody should be allowed to tell a woman what she can and can’t do with her body.  If abortion is such a huge issue for some, the pro-choice folk anyway (of which I am one), the argument being that it is a woman’s right to decide what happens to her body, well, the same reasoning should apply to childbirth.  Such a sticky issue, because I know well that sometimes having children is not the best decision for ANYONE concerned.  But if the government can make that decision for drug-addicted women, what is to stop them from making that decision for, say, a woman who already had four children?  A woman who is physically disabled?  Just because they think we have enough progeny in our country? (hello, China?).  So even though I get the reasons behind the opinions, it just doesn’t work for me.  Even though.

***Holy mother of god, would y’all stop with the damn TV show recaps?  I know I have written this before, but it bears saying again.  If I wanted to hear all about what went on during a particular TV show, I imagine I would have already watched it, or DVR’d it, or YouTubed it.  Please.

***I believe in God, and my god is a pretty liberal dude with, I don’t know, maybe an earring or two and big, working man’s hands.  He really just loves everyone.  However, I don’t think He really approves of showing up at a church Halloween party dressed like a stripper, complete with dollar bills hanging out of the bodice.  I ALSO think He might have shuddered a little upon hearing, “It’s either leave the bills where they are or everyone gets to see my nipples.  You pick.” 

***I hate Chijuhahas   Chihuahjas  those little tiny yapping dogs that look like rats.  Can anyone tell me what the real appeal is? 

***I don’t believe that anyone just “falls out of love.”  I believe that the romantic, fluttery, infatuated feelings change over time, and that is when people start to realize that perhaps their spouse/partner/lover isn’t perhaps perfect.  I believe that love is a feeling, sure, but it is also a lot of work, and involves a certain amount of choice.  So maybe there isn’t quite as much bloom on the rose as there was in the beginnig; is that worth throwing away some years of a good marriage?  I don’t know.  Barring abuse or addiction or a number of other equally detrimental issues that make staying in a marriage/relationship detrimental to all parties, I really think most problems/issues can and should be worked out.  I hear this, “He is my best friend, I just don’t feel the same passion!” and I am thinking,”So do whatever it takes to spice up that part of your life, but why would you NOT want to be married to your best friend?”  Perhaps, even after two marriages, I have an idealized view of it all, though.

And please, folks, this is just stuff floating through my head.  I love each and every one of my readers, and none of this is specifically directed at any one of you.  Just stuff that has been a little bit under my skin lately.  Just my opinion, nothing more.  And in case your suggestion is that I just don’t have to READ these things, you are right-and I haven’t been. These are just a few things that have been floating around in my head as of late, and I haven’t got it in me to write a whole, real, cohesive kind of post today.